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BREAKING NEWS: Warranty Beast On Its Way to Cape!!


Written by: Jerry Crasnick
Wednesday, May 14, 2008

ESPN has learned today that a brand new "The Beast Unleashed" bat has been shipped, via overnight mail, to A's headquarters in Cape Elizabeth.

Sources tell ESPN that Mrs. Gilman, an avid A's fan, contacted Mattingly Baseball, manufacturer of The Beast Unleashed, immediately following the A's heartbreaking loss to the Rangers on May 12.  On that night, just before the game began the team's lucky bat (The Beast Unleashed) was judged by the umpire to be unfit for use, after he discovered a crack in the aluminum.  The A's were held to just 2 runs in the loss, after scoring 39 runs in their first three games.

After locating the original receipt and discovering The Beast was still under warranty, Mrs. Gilman used her unmatched powers of persuasion and convinced an excellent customer service rep at Mattingly's headquarters in Tennessee that the A's REALLY needed that bat.  "I told her it was the A's lucky bat, and they were despondent without it.  She promised to ship it to me overnight, at no charge.  Talk about great customer service," said Mrs. Gilman.

The Fedex website indicates the new Beast was picked up at Mattingly's warehouse in Murfreesboro, TN at 2:59 pm on Wednesday.  With any luck, the package will arrive at A's headquarters by late afternoon on Thursday, in time for the A's game that night against the Cubs.  If FedEx positively absolutely gets it here overnight, there are sure to be smiles all around as the A's unleash the warranty version of their "13th man".


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